While it is a general perception that the pain of domestic abuse is something endured only by women, domestic violence against men is more commonplace than is realised.
Domestic violence or domestic abuse is not just about physical abuse, it can also includes violent, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse, as well as coercive and/or financial control and isolating people.
Abusers tend to slowly turn their victims into being dependent on them, and ensuring dominance in the relationship. For people living with BPD, who often have attachment and abandonment issues, this makes them more susceptible to this narcisstic behaviour.
Domestic abuse can affect anyone, and there are some great support services who specialise in supporting men during or after domestic abuse.
It is important to remember that you are not alone, the abuse is not your fault and there are people who can help you.
ManKind offers a confidential helpline (call 01823 334 244 to speak to someone) available for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence across the UK as well as their friends, family, neighbours, work colleagues and employers. They provide an information, support and signposting service to men suffering from domestic abuse from their current or former wife, partner (including same-sex partner) or husband.
Men’s Advice Line
Men’s Advice Line is a team of friendly advisors who will listen and believe you. Their team is available to offer you non-judgmental support, practical advice and information. The focus is to increase the safety of men experiencing domestic abuse (and the safety of any children) by providing confidential support. Call 0808 8010 327, email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit the site to use their webchat.
AMIS (Abused Men in Scotland)
AMIS is a registered charity that supports men in Scotland who have or are experiencing domestic abuse. Each year hundreds of men across Scotland contact AMIS for information or support if they have experienced or are experiencing domestic abuse. They offer practical information, guidance and casework.
The Safer Wales Dyn project provides support to Heterosexual, Gay, Bisexual and Trans men who are experiencing Domestic abuse from a partner. The Safer Wales Dyn helpline lets you speak confidentially to someone who can listen to you without judging your situation. We can give you support to deal with the problems faced and tell you if there are any services already available in your area.
Survivors UK exists to support men who have been victims of sexual abuse or sexual assault. They are there to support men, and their friends and familt, no matter what happened or when. You can use their National Male Survivors Online Helpline and Webchat Service – a chat service for men who have experience sexual abuse as either a child or adult, and want to have a confidential one-to-one chat with a trained helpliner.
The Survivor’s Handbook is primarily addressed to women, but the information there would also apply equality to men who are on the receiving end of domestic abuse/violence. The handbook includes information on recognising domestic abuse, making a safety plan, how to get help, your legal rights, helping your children and much more.